Water Ice

Water Discovered on Second Asteroid


So water on hunks of rock flying through the cosmos may be a lot more common than expected. Shouldn't we  start spending taxpayer money on more profitable pursuits? Last I heard there was plenty of water in the ocean even if it is laced with killer salt. Therefore I suggest we set our sights on finding only asteroids that haul unlimited quantities of cold beer around the universe and as a sideline discover a few with cupboards full of snack food - oops, up pops the salt problem again. Nasa scientists could arrange some method of it raining beer and chips during all sporting events. Fans could pay via Paypal which would fund the continuing exploration of space and relieve the burden on teetotaling taxpayers.
Now as to the " theory that asteroids may have hit Earth and brought our planet its water", I'm not sure. When I've gazed out over the Pacific or flown over the Atlantic, there seems to be one heck of a lot of water which means a crap load of asteroids must of hit the earth to fill up those huge depressions with H₂O. Of course we may have overlooked the fact water molecules may have been randy little lifeforms in the long ago past and given birth to many multiple broods of droplets. 

Counting Problems!

KEITH BALDREY, SPECIAL TO BURNABY NOW

Quote "it doesn't follow that an elected government should bend to the demands of an unelected minority." 

SEPTEMBER 29, 2010

Mr. Baldric might have to upgrade his math skills starting over in those early grades. In the last British Columbia election the Liberals were able to collect the majority of seats with 751,661 votes which represented 45.82% of the total. Clearly not a majority of the electorate who turned out at the polls. Now the recall campaign was successful with just a bit over 700,000 votes. Agreed - it is not a majority as Mr. Baldric explains in his professional article but how is this different from the election results. A minority of voters sanctioned the Liberals under Gordo to implement the HST even though they were less than truthful about their agenda during the campaign. My conclusion. A long winded argument brought to its knees by poor math skills.  

Curious Sign #2

European Chafer

No. These are not some annoying visitors from Europe being detained in a quarantine area, although I've run into a few at some of the hotter tourist spots in the Rockies. Having some of the sightseers penned up to protect the flora and fauna might be a novel practice. The warning relates to the exotic European chafer beetle which lays its eggs in nearby lawns giving life to nasty little grubs who chew up the lawn from below. And just in case you are not aware of pests hiding in the grass, other wildlife are drawn to their presence. First the crows swoop in to pick and peck. Then the skunks move in to rake over the sod in search of the more elusive ones. Of course, once fattened and lazy, the skunks are an easy target for wee hour drivers causing their malodorous scent to linger on the air through the morning hours. Since the adult beetles are a rather flighty bunch, I would assume trying to entice them into settling on specially marked bio-control public verges instead of private property has not met with overwhelming success. Trying to control the habits of crows and skunks would also be a formidable challenge. So the warning or informational sign remains strictly for the human population most of whom have at least a smattering of knowledge in how to decipher the English language. Are we not to tread on the disturbed grasses or should we fear the nearness to the nasty nematodes? Best to rush straight home and Google 'nematode' before succumbing to incurable itches, foreign maladies or the desire to eat a living lunch. Now if I could only remember the difference between scaramouche and scarabaeid - one of them causes me to do the fandango. 

Curious Sign #1

Seniors Crossing

Not your usual crossing sign, in fact the first I recall seeing. Much more attuned to school crossings as well as those for deer, moose, mountain sheep, elk, cattle and of course logging trucks. Maybe I've just sped by too fast to notice! Turned out I didn't have to worry about a bunch of retirees wandering aimlessly from curb to curb hell bent on using up their extra time. Perhaps it was only a small enclave. Never-the-less it did bring to mind a slew of questions.

Who is a senior? Would that be 55, 60, 65 or is 80 the new 60? Or don't ask!

Do you need ID to cross?

Is there a fine for misuse?

If somebody is underage can they obtain fake ID to prove they are over the age limit?

How much does it cost on the black-market?

Do seniors travel in herds?

Are they nocturnal or only mobile during the day?

Do Boy Scouts hang around ready to do a good deed?

If the pedestrians don't meet the seniors qualification do you have to yield the way?

Is there a full government bureaucratic department in charge of overseeing such venues?

Can you get training to be a seniors crossing guard?

Would it be better to have a cane in the sign?

Tried to follow the path thinking it led to either Palm Springs or Phoenix. My trusty bloodhound lost the scent Maybe old people odor is an urban myth

Reminds me of a joke. Why did the senior cross the road? Oops! Forgot the punch line.

Queenly Advice

 

Terrible to hear the bad news concerning Queen Lizzie's crumbling finances. Having to apply to  government ministers for a poverty handout to heat her homes seems an act of quiet desperation, not to mention pleading cap in hand before commoners certainly takes you another step down from being only accountable to God. However rather than simply harp about her situation, I decided to suggest possible ways to redeem her fall from absolute monarch and to restore her stiff upper lip.

1. Snuggle up closer to Phil on those cold stormy nights.

2. Have Charlie find green employment to help out Mommy.

3. Demolish a couple of older castles and sell the stone for really high class counter tops.

4. Move to warmer climes - Jamacia mon!

5. Sell off some of the crown jewels. Oops! That may have already occurred. Even the Tower exhibition makes passing reference to pasty items.

6. Try having a garage sale. All that antique bric-a-brac should bring in a few shillings or pence or whatever currency is currently in use. Table setups at Buckingham, Windsor, Balmoral etc. should keep the family warm and busy for quite a few weekends.

7. Grow some of those high return crops on royal properties, you know: mary jane, doda

8. Bring back beheading at the Tower and charge admission.

9. Start up a mail order peerage business.

10. Rent out rooms to immigrants. Just set up a kiosk at Heathrow. Charge heavy for the extras!

Kiss Me Coldly

Avoid kissing the snakes in the Okanagan. Yes,Really
Like riding a bike one never loses the ability to snaggle a snake.
Lightly tread on his tail and a quick pin to the ground with a finely tuned forked branch. Then a thumb and forefinger gently around his neck to hoist him to eye level view. A fine specimen of garter snake, close to 4 feet long hanging docilely, probably unsure how he ever got into this mess. Meanwhile, the group I was impressing were content to run a 100 meters in almost world  record time before goggling my catch from afar. While we possibly had eye contact, there were no allusions of mutual love. BTW. How does one go about sexing a snake? Would it be a proper before dinner conversation item? Even though not as dynamic - and lacking entirely the poisonous punch - as his rattler cousin (pictured), moving in close enough for a peck on the lips would inevitably cause me some pain. Once I startled a field mouse while picking up a bale of hay to toss up on the wagon. Little blighter neatly and swiftly lodged onto my middle finger and proceeded to hang on for dear life, refusing to be flung off or release his grip. Hard core persuasion with the tine of a pitchfork finally triggered a release mechanism, leaving me with  four blood gushing holes. But I survived. The mouse - well on with the rest of the story. My vain attempt to convince everybody that snake skin was dry to the touch and as far from slimy as you can get fell on deaf ears. The bravest of the bunch got within ten foot peering carefully with widened eyes. For this wriggler a happy ending as I plopped him on the ground and he slithered away at high speed disappearing under the first available log. And even with scientific explanations, I still marvel how they manage that side-winding, slithering method of travel.
Photo by Flickr user Mike Johnston used under Creative Common

10! Blog Ideas

Blog Suggestion # 152 - Catch Their Attention with a Numbered List

Boy have I seen a lot of these. Ten, fifteen, twenty five and more ways to cook dandelions, smoke banana peels, redecorate your one room walk-up, buy a used stolen bike, organize your ten emails on four different accounts and, of course, write a blog (understand this will lead to a following in the hundreds of thousands within one week plus fame and fortune beyond your wildest expectations) with your eyes closed  and both hands wrapped around a beer. Problem appears to be a limited number of possible suggestions and a lot of déjà vu. One of my elementary school teachers mentioned that a productive method of obtaining story ideas was to "listen to people on the bus" and use their conversations as the basis for a composition. Pretty sure another teacher repeated the idea a few years later. With a little digging through the synapses I might even come up with a name and home room, although I might just nod off instead. As an experiment I just Googled "listen to people on the bus" and was presented in .21 seconds with about 187,000 results. Yikes! Change the words even slightly and I can imagine the returned pages mushrooming into the millions. With the constant crush of information who knows anymore whose blog said what and when. Pretty positive some writers may be recycling their old posts, not that I want to tackle the messy job of sorting through my recycle bin. BTW - if a blogger reuses his old material without a rewrite, is he/she guilty of plagiarism? 

All of which really got me to thinking - pardon me whilst I check my email - okay back again, (reminder: 15 ways to ignore the email sound while typing) about a productive blog with a daily schedule, solid information, a differing setup and simple to crank out. Then a scheme coalesced in my cranium sans any help from me. Take ten truly magnificent suggestions on how to find material for your blog, write them up with genuine concern for the readers, let them sing with excitement, ring the creative bells and create confidence. Once each of the ten are trimmed and polished, allow the power of math to take over before publishing. Now remember the whole post has to be different every day to maintain attention by the masses. Recall that factorial symbol up there in the title? Okay now you have 10 possible lead items to put in the #1 position, 9 items left for the #2 position, 8 items left for the #3 position............... See where this is going? Factorial 10 calculates out to 3,628,800 discrete ways to arrange those limited 10 items. Not a whole lot different and it may transcend the spirit of the blog god, but it still can be considered different output each and every day. Divide those millions by 5 and voilà 725,760 weeks, divide by 52 and ergo approximately 14,000 years. And your estate will garner income for fourteen millenniums.

Photo by Flickr user SergeyRod used under Creative Commons